For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
