So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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