Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
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I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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