How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Randomize
