Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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