I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
