I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
