Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
