just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
