Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
