Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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