Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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