I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
