Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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