I'm sorry my penis didn't work
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
