Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
