my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
