So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
