I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
