I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize