stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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