i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
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Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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