I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize