drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
