Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
