Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
