Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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