Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
