i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
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