it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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