You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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