You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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