I want to stick my p in your. b.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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