How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
