My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
