the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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