I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
