is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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