I got chris browned last night
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
