STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
