I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I love you.
Bad choice
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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