The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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