did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
