Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
