he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
