at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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