They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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