It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
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You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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