the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
