Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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