When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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