already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
