I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
