we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
