At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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