I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
