If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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