Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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