genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
