dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
