They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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