just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
