Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
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this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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