try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
