is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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