sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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